"We used to steal watermelons from Mr. Brown who owned this beautiful watermelon patch down near Wilsonia. We'd thump the melons to find out if they were ripe, choose the best ones, pull out the heart - the sweetest part - eat it and waste the rest. Mr. Brown had threatened to shoot Wesley, Clee, and me many times for stealing his crops, and he came out in the field one day with a loaded shotgun and caught us stealing watermelons. I don't know how we escaped. Watermelon vines are so low to the ground that you have to be as small as a doodlebug to get under them. Never try to hide your head under a watermelon vine with buckshot flying around your ass."
- Dizzy Gillespie, To Be or Not to Bop
This is very funny to me at 5AM.